It is, quite frankly ONE MILLION DEGREES.  And I am not a fan of the summer at the best of times.  It went up to 36°C (97°F) but with the humidex it was 48°C (118°F).  It felt much, much warmer than that.  With no wind, and it doesn’t cool down at night.

Of course it was almost this hot yesterday and will be the same tomorrow, but I will try to write something at some point.  Until then I just wanted to say:

I promise you a real post later.... but picture this.

2 am, the dog opens the screen door to attack a raccoon that is taunting him through the window.  So hubby runs out and spends 10 minutes trying to break them up....

BUCK NAKED in full view of the street. 

Take that neighbour who hit our car and didn't even leave a note.

(I don't have a picture because I was, sadly, sleeping at the time.  But because I love embarrassing photos of other people as much as the next gal.  Shhhh don't tell hubby)

My "little" baby was too big for his infant car seat before he was even four months old.  He had exceeded the weight and though he was about an inch off the height it just didn't fit right anymore.  But the convertible ones look so scary.  Seriously, they scared me, to think of putting my little guy in there.  He looked like he would be swallowed whole.  They were so upright, he couldn't sit up on his own, he could barely sit upright supported.  I know the convertibles ones say from birth onwards, but I just couldn't see it.  But I knew I had to do something, so the search started.

I read reviews, reviews and more reviews.  I started a spreadsheet to compare the maximum weights and lengths, features, safety standards, prices.  It was a mess <lol>  I started to obsess about the safety reports.  One site would say car seat x was the safest, another site would rank it in the middle (But they are all really, really safe right?  The minimum standards are pretty high, don't you think?).  There were product recalls after product recalls.  Parent reviews of how the strap adjusters stopped working properly rendering the seat unsafe, or this part breaking.  Seats only lasting a year, but other people said the same seat lasted through two kids. 

I know from experience how badly designed some car seats are.  Our infant seat is a nightmare, it was a hand-me-down.  And while I am sure it is perfectly safe, almost everything about it annoys me.  I can barely get the handle up or down.  To adjust the harness straps takes a pair of pliers, 15 minutes and brute strength.  Really they should be adjusted before each trip, particularly in the spring where one day baby is wearing a snowsuit and the next day just a t-shirt. Buckling the harness is also a pain.  It can appear to be in, when it is not.  Sometimes it trips into locked when the belt isn't in, so you can't get the belt in until you press the release button again.  Also, I find it hard to lift the seat straight up while pulling the release on the base.

I also firmly believe that if 70% of car seats are installed incorrectly, 100% (or close to it) are designed incorrectly, because I really doubt that parents don't care.  My friend had her infant seat installed by the police (a free service here).  It took two grown men to push down hard enough and tighten the belt enough to get it in properly.  That is nuts.

So here I am looking for the safest, perfectly designed car seat, with the biggest weight allowance and the lowest price without leaving the house.  (Which is impossible because really how do you know how easier it is to use the latches/buttons etc without using them yourself).  When someone threw a wrench into the works. 

There is one infant seat on the market that doesn't have an upper weight limit of 20/22lbs.  It goes up to 30 lbs and says it fits 97% of babies at one year.  However when you read the fine print that statement is based on the growth charts and the growth charts do not cover a lot of babies it seems to me.  I know Disco-Baby has gone from 50^th percentile to off the top of the charts, but will probably slow and end up back on the charts again, because breastfed babies do that compared to the old charts based on formula feedings and early introduction to solids.  However I also have this fear that he will continue to grow exponentially leaving the charts further and further behind.  (And no I don't think he is too fat, though he is pretty chubby, he is also off the chart for length).  This infant seat also has some other cool features, like a level adjuster so you don't have to use towels and a level indicator so you know when it is at the right level (Duh!  Why don't they all have this!!!!) 

So then I stopped, I couldn't decide what would be better.  This infant seat and hope it would take him through to when he can go front-facing.  Then get a front-facing only seat that are a) often cheaper than convertible ones, b) have bigger upper weight limits, and c) will fit him comfortable at a year when he is more of a toddler size.  Or to get the convertible one, which will probably fit him comfortable for a years and if it doesn't I can always replace it. (Because I am made of money after all)

So I gave up and waited for a sign from God or someone (like hubby) to make up my mind for me.

It is more than a month later, and Disco-baby can sit up more or less now, so we will probably get a convertible one.  However, I still have stage fright about it.  But hopefully this week me, hubby and my mom (who is paying for it yaaaaaaaaaaaaay.  Oh likes she one of the Eddie Bauer convertables) will find a store and go sit Disco-Baby in a bunch of them.  Adjust the straps, use the buttons, and see if they fit in the back of our little car.  Hopefully one will leap out as the obvious best for Disco-Baby (because babies are all different, like Disco-Baby's cousin who is almost two and weighs only a pound or two more than him and happily fit in the same infant seat we are using until she was walking.  I know because I happened to be there when they installed the anchor)

So, any last minute advice?  (And do you think I am neurotic?  Honestly, at least I haven't rushed Disco-Baby off to the ER and doctors repeatedly and I don't care when dogs lick him or he puts weird things in his mouth…. That makes me not neurotic right <lol>)

Tonight I put Disco-Baby to bed early.  I hate doing this, if he goes to sleep between 7 and 8:30 pm he is up every 15 minutes until 9pm.  Then he sleeps (well except for his feedings ever 2-3 hours<lol> but for those he eats in his sleep).  But he was tired, cranky and just not going to take it anymore so I put him to bed. 

When I finally escaped, it was only 10 minutes before I was in there again.  He wasn’t awake he wasn’t asleep.  He wanted to snuggle and suck his thumb, he wanted to nurse and not touch me (You just can’t do all those things at once).  I got him back to sleep, read beside him for awhile and then snuck away thinking he would sleep for a bit.

I came out to my computer and I hear “rattle”.  Hmmm… strange.  Maybe I am hearing things “rattle, rattle”… “rattle, rattle, rattle”.  I had to go peek, usually he can’t hold the bunny that long or looses interest.  So I snuck up on him, but he caught me, so I climbed into bed.  I decided to read and let him play.  I just wanted to make sure he didn’t get stuck under a pillow again or something. 

So he lay on one side of the bed and I lay on the other reading and just looking over now and then.  Suddenly he is beside me on his belly.  Aha!  Caught him! The other day I found him with a sheet that I had left in the crib (it is up against the bed without a side as a co-sleeper) but he was exactly where I left him in the middle of the bed. 

Disco-Baby is too cute on his belly, but he normally won’t volunteer to be that way.  Also when we put him on his belly when he decides is done he cries until we roll him over.  I know he can do it himself, but he won’t.  But he starts rooting around my breast trying to find my nipple.  I figured once I gave it to him he would roll into a comfortable position to nurse in, so I lifted my shirt and undid my bra.  WRONG.  He wanted to nurse on his belly. 

I let him try for a few minutes but it was too painful for me, so I rolled him onto his side.  And he screamed, and screamed, and would have nothing to do with my breast.  So I rolled him back onto his belly and moved around until I could find a way for him to nurse.  Until he started to fall asleep, then we moved back to a normal nursing position.

He wants it his way, and he gets it his way…

I am doomed.

Ok, so I can no longer deny it my baby is teething, and being a n00b mom I don't know what to do.  See I had it in my had that baby was miserable for a day or two and then the tooth popped through.  Maybe I just had it in my mind so that I would be willing to go through with this whole motherhood thing.  He has been teething on and off for a month now; and on for about a week (am I the only one who can to longer tell one day from the other, ask me if something happened yesterday or the day before and I can't figure it out)

 

Two days ago whenever he was hungry first he would put my nipple between his lips and let out the groan.  I had to pump before I went to bed, I guess he just wasn't up to eating much; too bad my breasts didn't get the memo.

 

Yesterday I spent an hour in the morning trying to keep Disco-Baby's thumb out of his mouth.  He is quite a thumb sucker, and understandable because his mouth was hurting he wanted comfort, comfort from his beloved thumb.  However, said thumb coming into contact with gums led to SCREAMING.  NOT FUN AT ALL.  After three hours of fussing and crying (and hand pinning) he decided he would be happier outside, so we sat on the front porch for an hour while a read my magazine.  (Where was hubby in all this?  About an hour into screamfest he got up and asked what was wrong, and then said he only wanted "one more hour" of sleep because he was up late talking to his brother.  Whatever)

 

Finally he took a nap.  He was better after that, though still chomping down hard on anything he could get his hands on and drooling like a rabid dog.

 

I can not stand the crying… makes me feel sick to my stomach.  So what do you do for teething?

 

Please answer the following if-Proust-blogged questions

What is the quality you most admire in a blogger?

Snark noun N. Amer Informal

1)      Describes a witty mannerism, personality, or behaviour that is a combination of sarcasm and cynicism. Usually accepted as a complimentary term. Snark is sometimes mistaken for a snotty or arrogant attitude.

2)      Any language that contains quips or comments containing sarcastic or satirical witticisms intended as blunt irony. Usually delivered in a manner that is somewhat abrupt and out of context and intended to stun and amuse. Origin: Snark="snide remark".

 

What is your most marked blogging characteristic (or, how would you describe your blog)?

Discombobulated

 

What is your greatest virtue as a blogger (what do you most like about your blog)?

Besides snark?  My goal as a blogger is to overcome my writer's block, which is really just a symptom; truly I have lost my voice and some of my sense of self.  I want to discover who I am and relearn how to speak to the world, particularly my husband.  To trust in my own perceptions and and feelings and believe that people want to hear what I want to say.

 

What do you regard as the principle defect of your blog?

It uses some free software and is probably pretty buggy.  I am new to this whole blog thing, so I am still finding my style; also there are less than 10 entries.  Truly, most days are the same as the one before.  I sleep, the baby sleeps, I feed the baby, I cook, I eat, repeat.  I never leave the house.  Hopefully I will get out more and have more to write about.

 

What character of fiction do you most wish had a blog?

Dirk Gently; that man knew snark, used the "Zen method of Navigation" and met Thor and Zeus.

 

What historical or real life person do you most wish had a blog?

Obviously, Douglas Adams.  I wish my high-school economics teacher had a blog.  It was always great to hear him put news stories into an economic frame-work.  Also, I love debating him.

 

What is your present state of blog (present state of mind as a blogger)?

<lol> Experince level 1: novice.

 

What is your blog motto?

My official blog motto, or at least what it says where my profile is supposed to go is: "Another Canuck mom tries to take over the blogiver".  I prefer blogverse, but I googled it and there seems to be a consensus that it's blogiverse, so what are you going to do.

I think a better motto for my blog would be the motto for North Carolina: "Esse quam videri"; To be, rather than to seem.

 

Then, select and answer the questions from the list below that you feel will most reveal the person behind the blogger, as many or as few as you like (from the original – abridged – Proust questionnaire)

 

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

To feel that your life has no purpose, that you have made no impact on the world and never will and that no one would notice if you were no longer around.

Who are your heroes in real life/fiction?

Those who, through struggle, find out who they really are.  You can start out poor, and become a millionaire, overcome debility, or save the city from the super-villain.  These are all laudable things.  But an unexamined life is not worth living, and those who can discover and accept who they really are, are the true heroes.

What historical figures do you most despise?

I despise most those who feel that "they" are less than human.  That "we" have souls and "they" do not.  That "we" are civilized and "they" are not, that "we" are intelligent and "they are dumb".  That "they" care less for themselves, their families, their community or their god.

Whether "they" are blacks, aboriginals, women, homosexuals we are all human, we are all equal.

What is your favorite virtue?

The four virtues are temperance, prudence, courage, and justice.  Temperance is just silly, eat all the chocolate you want there will still be enough for me.  But the ability to know what is right (prudence) and do what is right is the best virtue of all.

 

Who or what would you have liked to be?

I would have liked to have been a successful programmer before I became a mom.  I also used to want to be a vet, now I am not so sure.

My number one secret dream (though it is completely incompatible with motherhood and practically impossible) is to be a photographer for National Geographic.  I love photography and nature, I am so curious about other cultures and I think I would love to travel.

 

Where would you like to live?

Rosedale, the Bridal Path, or Forest Hill; a big yard, a nice house, a safe neighbourhood and just minutes from the convenience and diversity of downtown.  A hobby farm, maybe in Europe.  The 1800's when fashion was easier, times were simpler, lives were more clearly defined and life was good <lol>  Ok, it wasn't but it seems like it was from where I am.

 

What is your most marked characteristic?

I can see all sides of almost any issue, this makes me flexible and non-fanatical.  It means I am empathic and I hope that makes me a better friend and a better person.  It also means I can be indecisive, ambivalent, and can find it hard to express my opinion.  Even if I feel passionate about something I won't want to make someone feel badly about their choices.  Also if you really want my opinion you may end up with five, which isn't helpful if you were hoping for advice that would solve your dilemma.

Also I am full of useless trivia and endless stories.  Of course I don't have the kind of useless trivia that wins game shows<lol>

 

What do you most value in your friends?

Someone who calls even if I don't call back, someone who makes plans and invites me along.  I don't call people back until I have enough time, or it's the right time, of course then time passes and the more time that passes the guiltier I feel and the harder it is to plan.  Also I have trouble planning things more than a day in advance, because what if something else comes up, things change.  Better not to make plans than to cancel them, or miss something, or let someone down.  I'm an awful friend, I'm glad a few people put up with me.  I wish I had more friends though.

 

What natural gift would you most like to possess?

Perfect Housekeeper.

 

How would you like to die?

In my sleep, in my bed, at 115 years old

 

 

 

 <p> And you asked for a photo of some part of me so here it is:

 

 

I was reclining on the couch today with the Disco-Baby propped up between my legs, so if he fell over he wouldn't fall of the couch; and because I had just been woken up from my nap.  It was hot so I was wearing underwear and a t-shirt, baby was wearing a diaper and a t-shirt.  He was happily making googly eyes at daddy.  He had spit up a bit and when Hubby decided to pick him up he noticed the couch was a little wet.  So he started to clean it up, thinking it was just spit-up….

But it wasn't.

It was poop.  It had escaped the diaper, and was all over baby, me and the couch.  Hubby ran off to clean off Disco-Baby, I ran off to take a shower, I pull of my t-shirt, bra and then I take of my underwear……….

And not only is my underwear covered in poo, it has poo on the inside too.  EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

I may never feel clean again.

Yesterday my mom threw me a “baby shower”.  When she asked if she could my babe was only 2 months old and the guest list was my step-siblings, my grandma and maybe a few assorted aunts. 

I guess I should explain I already had a baby shower; my husband’s aunt threw it for me.  I said I didn’t want a shower until after we had the baby, everyone knew that.  But all of a sudden she decided that it couldn’t wait.  So she e-mailed my hubby for a list of people, which of course I ended up doing.  They kept insisting they didn’t need my help and that they got in touch with everyone and everyone was coming.  Long story short some people didn’t get invited until 2 or 3 days before the even.  None of my friends showed up.  I was sad.  I should have just thrown a shower for my friends after the baby was born, but I didn’t I was pissed off.  Most of them probably wouldn’t have shown up because I live in the suburbs.  Also, I was tired, of course.

Well my mom kept saying, maybe weekend x or y, and I’d say “Well let me know”.  Last Friday while I was in the middle of getting ready for a BBQ at my house (for mine and my husband’s birthday, nothing says fun like throwing your own party).  She calls and brings the baby shower up again (while I am frantically trying to get off the phone).  She said how about 22^nd or the 29^th.  I should have said nothing, instead I said “I’m busy on the 29^th” and wham the party is on the 22^nd.  A lot of people didn’t get called until 3 or 4 days before the event and the party was full of my mom’s church and bowling friends.  My step-brother was on vacation.  At least some of my extended family came out.

Also, it wasn’t really a baby shower, it was just a party.  I don’t have anything against going to a party.  I probably still would have gone (maybe not though, because hubby hurt his back the day of the party); but I certainly wouldn’t have felt compelled to show up early, and play host while my mom went to pick people up.

So two showers, the first one was pretty good, the second one wasn’t really a shower and I still haven’t seen most of my friends.

New rule: from now on only *I* may throw baby showers for me.

Getting dressed, finding the car keys, and sitting there waiting until I get the baby changed and dressed, diaper bag packed, me changed and dressed, the baby in the car seat, the list and whatever else we need for wherever else we are going

Saying you "need to" play on the computer to get your brain working in the morning, but not getting up in time to give me even 5 minutes to go to the bathroom by myself AND you want me to pack your lunch. 

While I am packing your lunch complaining how hard it is to play sudoku one handed, ever tried to make a sandwich one handed?  Cook dinner one handed?  Vacuum one handed while the dog tries to eat the vacuum.

Did I mention you get to shower everyday before work too?

Letting you alarm clock go off SIX TIMES, even though you know I am trying to keep the baby asleep because he just went down for a nap.  If you object to co-sleeping feel free to sleep on the couch.  There is no air-conditioning in the nursery and you do not do any night-time parenting anymore so I get to keep my sanity by sleeping with the baby.

Thinking you are helping with the laundry when you put a load into the wash before you go to work, then complaining because it didn't get out onto the line right away and now "smells funny".  I am sorry the clothes dryer isn't working but that doesn't make it possible for me to be in two places at once or dry clothes outside in the rain.  Also there is no light in the backyard (Didn't you say you would put one up months ago)

Saying you will finish the dishes "FOR ME", the dishes are YOUR CHORE, I have only started doing them out of desperation.  Also, finishing the dishes means finishing them, I know you hate washing plastic, but that is just too bad.  There will be MORE plastic as your child gets older.  Also, putting dirty baking sheets in the oven doesn't count as cleaning them either.

Staying up all night and then complaining you never see us. At 10pm you said you were so tired you would fall asleep if you watched anymore TV, so you went to play on the computer.  At 11pm promised you would go to bed by 11:30 and at 3am I find you still playing computer games.  You will say you "couldn't sleep" of course you can't sleep playing video games, as you stated earlier you were playing them to "stay awake".

Complaining you are tired; you no longer take our baby at night so I can get 4 hours sleep, you no longer will watch our baby while I nap on your day off.  You can sleep when and where you want.  I have not slept for more than 3 hours in months.  You do not know the meaning of the word tired.

Whining when you are home and I manage to get the baby asleep and I try to get some chores done.  I do chores when you are around because I know when our baby wakes up there will be someone else to comfort him while I get to a place I can pause, or heaven forbid, actually finish what I start.  Some chores do not take well to being interrupted.  I am sorry if you feel guilty because I am cleaning and you haven't done a thing around the house in a week.  I am sorry if you miss time alone with me, I miss time alone with you too, but only when I am not pissed off because I do EVERYTHING.

 

 

I do not begrudge our baby any of his needs.  I love our baby and have placed his needs first; he needs love, food, and attention 24/7.  I have not left his side for more than an hour since he was born, and I do not want to.  I would however like 15 minutes to shower every other day.  To nap alone once in a while, read a book while you play with him.  I even really want to be able to clean uninterrupted, occasionally; maybe even get the vacuum out.

    
1. Men bashing shall be contained to coffee klatches, after huge family get together dish washing, and "gals night out". No men or children shall be present at the time.
    
2. Women bashing shall be confined to sports games and "guys night out". No women or children shall be present.
    
3. Any man dumb enough to walk in on the man bashing, particularly, the dishes one, gets what they deserve. If they are dumb enough to actually say something or try to defend themselves, they should count themselves lucky if they make it out alive.
    
4. Women who are too dumb to leave men alone when they are bitching deserve whatever punishment men deem fit.
    
5. DO NOT complain about current hubby to your adult child who does not like current hubby; because it is really hard to refrain from saying "Well, you married the asshole" ;-)
    
6. If alcohol is being consumed and your friend is bitching about the silliest thing ever, let it slide. We all have really dumb pet peeves.

Because lets face it, sometimes you have to bitch, but most of us are mature enough to know that the good always outweighs the bad (or else get out of the relationship) and that bitching tends to be a little exaggerated. Children however, do not understand the above.