Please answer the following if-Proust-blogged questions

What is the quality you most admire in a blogger?

Snark noun N. Amer Informal

1)      Describes a witty mannerism, personality, or behaviour that is a combination of sarcasm and cynicism. Usually accepted as a complimentary term. Snark is sometimes mistaken for a snotty or arrogant attitude.

2)      Any language that contains quips or comments containing sarcastic or satirical witticisms intended as blunt irony. Usually delivered in a manner that is somewhat abrupt and out of context and intended to stun and amuse. Origin: Snark="snide remark".

 

What is your most marked blogging characteristic (or, how would you describe your blog)?

Discombobulated

 

What is your greatest virtue as a blogger (what do you most like about your blog)?

Besides snark?  My goal as a blogger is to overcome my writer's block, which is really just a symptom; truly I have lost my voice and some of my sense of self.  I want to discover who I am and relearn how to speak to the world, particularly my husband.  To trust in my own perceptions and and feelings and believe that people want to hear what I want to say.

 

What do you regard as the principle defect of your blog?

It uses some free software and is probably pretty buggy.  I am new to this whole blog thing, so I am still finding my style; also there are less than 10 entries.  Truly, most days are the same as the one before.  I sleep, the baby sleeps, I feed the baby, I cook, I eat, repeat.  I never leave the house.  Hopefully I will get out more and have more to write about.

 

What character of fiction do you most wish had a blog?

Dirk Gently; that man knew snark, used the "Zen method of Navigation" and met Thor and Zeus.

 

What historical or real life person do you most wish had a blog?

Obviously, Douglas Adams.  I wish my high-school economics teacher had a blog.  It was always great to hear him put news stories into an economic frame-work.  Also, I love debating him.

 

What is your present state of blog (present state of mind as a blogger)?

<lol> Experince level 1: novice.

 

What is your blog motto?

My official blog motto, or at least what it says where my profile is supposed to go is: "Another Canuck mom tries to take over the blogiver".  I prefer blogverse, but I googled it and there seems to be a consensus that it's blogiverse, so what are you going to do.

I think a better motto for my blog would be the motto for North Carolina: "Esse quam videri"; To be, rather than to seem.

 

Then, select and answer the questions from the list below that you feel will most reveal the person behind the blogger, as many or as few as you like (from the original – abridged – Proust questionnaire)

 

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

To feel that your life has no purpose, that you have made no impact on the world and never will and that no one would notice if you were no longer around.

Who are your heroes in real life/fiction?

Those who, through struggle, find out who they really are.  You can start out poor, and become a millionaire, overcome debility, or save the city from the super-villain.  These are all laudable things.  But an unexamined life is not worth living, and those who can discover and accept who they really are, are the true heroes.

What historical figures do you most despise?

I despise most those who feel that "they" are less than human.  That "we" have souls and "they" do not.  That "we" are civilized and "they" are not, that "we" are intelligent and "they are dumb".  That "they" care less for themselves, their families, their community or their god.

Whether "they" are blacks, aboriginals, women, homosexuals we are all human, we are all equal.

What is your favorite virtue?

The four virtues are temperance, prudence, courage, and justice.  Temperance is just silly, eat all the chocolate you want there will still be enough for me.  But the ability to know what is right (prudence) and do what is right is the best virtue of all.

 

Who or what would you have liked to be?

I would have liked to have been a successful programmer before I became a mom.  I also used to want to be a vet, now I am not so sure.

My number one secret dream (though it is completely incompatible with motherhood and practically impossible) is to be a photographer for National Geographic.  I love photography and nature, I am so curious about other cultures and I think I would love to travel.

 

Where would you like to live?

Rosedale, the Bridal Path, or Forest Hill; a big yard, a nice house, a safe neighbourhood and just minutes from the convenience and diversity of downtown.  A hobby farm, maybe in Europe.  The 1800's when fashion was easier, times were simpler, lives were more clearly defined and life was good <lol>  Ok, it wasn't but it seems like it was from where I am.

 

What is your most marked characteristic?

I can see all sides of almost any issue, this makes me flexible and non-fanatical.  It means I am empathic and I hope that makes me a better friend and a better person.  It also means I can be indecisive, ambivalent, and can find it hard to express my opinion.  Even if I feel passionate about something I won't want to make someone feel badly about their choices.  Also if you really want my opinion you may end up with five, which isn't helpful if you were hoping for advice that would solve your dilemma.

Also I am full of useless trivia and endless stories.  Of course I don't have the kind of useless trivia that wins game shows<lol>

 

What do you most value in your friends?

Someone who calls even if I don't call back, someone who makes plans and invites me along.  I don't call people back until I have enough time, or it's the right time, of course then time passes and the more time that passes the guiltier I feel and the harder it is to plan.  Also I have trouble planning things more than a day in advance, because what if something else comes up, things change.  Better not to make plans than to cancel them, or miss something, or let someone down.  I'm an awful friend, I'm glad a few people put up with me.  I wish I had more friends though.

 

What natural gift would you most like to possess?

Perfect Housekeeper.

 

How would you like to die?

In my sleep, in my bed, at 115 years old

 

 

 

 <p> And you asked for a photo of some part of me so here it is:

 

 

I was reclining on the couch today with the Disco-Baby propped up between my legs, so if he fell over he wouldn't fall of the couch; and because I had just been woken up from my nap.  It was hot so I was wearing underwear and a t-shirt, baby was wearing a diaper and a t-shirt.  He was happily making googly eyes at daddy.  He had spit up a bit and when Hubby decided to pick him up he noticed the couch was a little wet.  So he started to clean it up, thinking it was just spit-up….

But it wasn't.

It was poop.  It had escaped the diaper, and was all over baby, me and the couch.  Hubby ran off to clean off Disco-Baby, I ran off to take a shower, I pull of my t-shirt, bra and then I take of my underwear……….

And not only is my underwear covered in poo, it has poo on the inside too.  EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

I may never feel clean again.

Yesterday my mom threw me a “baby shower”.  When she asked if she could my babe was only 2 months old and the guest list was my step-siblings, my grandma and maybe a few assorted aunts. 

I guess I should explain I already had a baby shower; my husband’s aunt threw it for me.  I said I didn’t want a shower until after we had the baby, everyone knew that.  But all of a sudden she decided that it couldn’t wait.  So she e-mailed my hubby for a list of people, which of course I ended up doing.  They kept insisting they didn’t need my help and that they got in touch with everyone and everyone was coming.  Long story short some people didn’t get invited until 2 or 3 days before the even.  None of my friends showed up.  I was sad.  I should have just thrown a shower for my friends after the baby was born, but I didn’t I was pissed off.  Most of them probably wouldn’t have shown up because I live in the suburbs.  Also, I was tired, of course.

Well my mom kept saying, maybe weekend x or y, and I’d say “Well let me know”.  Last Friday while I was in the middle of getting ready for a BBQ at my house (for mine and my husband’s birthday, nothing says fun like throwing your own party).  She calls and brings the baby shower up again (while I am frantically trying to get off the phone).  She said how about 22^nd or the 29^th.  I should have said nothing, instead I said “I’m busy on the 29^th” and wham the party is on the 22^nd.  A lot of people didn’t get called until 3 or 4 days before the event and the party was full of my mom’s church and bowling friends.  My step-brother was on vacation.  At least some of my extended family came out.

Also, it wasn’t really a baby shower, it was just a party.  I don’t have anything against going to a party.  I probably still would have gone (maybe not though, because hubby hurt his back the day of the party); but I certainly wouldn’t have felt compelled to show up early, and play host while my mom went to pick people up.

So two showers, the first one was pretty good, the second one wasn’t really a shower and I still haven’t seen most of my friends.

New rule: from now on only *I* may throw baby showers for me.

Getting dressed, finding the car keys, and sitting there waiting until I get the baby changed and dressed, diaper bag packed, me changed and dressed, the baby in the car seat, the list and whatever else we need for wherever else we are going

Saying you "need to" play on the computer to get your brain working in the morning, but not getting up in time to give me even 5 minutes to go to the bathroom by myself AND you want me to pack your lunch. 

While I am packing your lunch complaining how hard it is to play sudoku one handed, ever tried to make a sandwich one handed?  Cook dinner one handed?  Vacuum one handed while the dog tries to eat the vacuum.

Did I mention you get to shower everyday before work too?

Letting you alarm clock go off SIX TIMES, even though you know I am trying to keep the baby asleep because he just went down for a nap.  If you object to co-sleeping feel free to sleep on the couch.  There is no air-conditioning in the nursery and you do not do any night-time parenting anymore so I get to keep my sanity by sleeping with the baby.

Thinking you are helping with the laundry when you put a load into the wash before you go to work, then complaining because it didn't get out onto the line right away and now "smells funny".  I am sorry the clothes dryer isn't working but that doesn't make it possible for me to be in two places at once or dry clothes outside in the rain.  Also there is no light in the backyard (Didn't you say you would put one up months ago)

Saying you will finish the dishes "FOR ME", the dishes are YOUR CHORE, I have only started doing them out of desperation.  Also, finishing the dishes means finishing them, I know you hate washing plastic, but that is just too bad.  There will be MORE plastic as your child gets older.  Also, putting dirty baking sheets in the oven doesn't count as cleaning them either.

Staying up all night and then complaining you never see us. At 10pm you said you were so tired you would fall asleep if you watched anymore TV, so you went to play on the computer.  At 11pm promised you would go to bed by 11:30 and at 3am I find you still playing computer games.  You will say you "couldn't sleep" of course you can't sleep playing video games, as you stated earlier you were playing them to "stay awake".

Complaining you are tired; you no longer take our baby at night so I can get 4 hours sleep, you no longer will watch our baby while I nap on your day off.  You can sleep when and where you want.  I have not slept for more than 3 hours in months.  You do not know the meaning of the word tired.

Whining when you are home and I manage to get the baby asleep and I try to get some chores done.  I do chores when you are around because I know when our baby wakes up there will be someone else to comfort him while I get to a place I can pause, or heaven forbid, actually finish what I start.  Some chores do not take well to being interrupted.  I am sorry if you feel guilty because I am cleaning and you haven't done a thing around the house in a week.  I am sorry if you miss time alone with me, I miss time alone with you too, but only when I am not pissed off because I do EVERYTHING.

 

 

I do not begrudge our baby any of his needs.  I love our baby and have placed his needs first; he needs love, food, and attention 24/7.  I have not left his side for more than an hour since he was born, and I do not want to.  I would however like 15 minutes to shower every other day.  To nap alone once in a while, read a book while you play with him.  I even really want to be able to clean uninterrupted, occasionally; maybe even get the vacuum out.

    
1. Men bashing shall be contained to coffee klatches, after huge family get together dish washing, and "gals night out". No men or children shall be present at the time.
    
2. Women bashing shall be confined to sports games and "guys night out". No women or children shall be present.
    
3. Any man dumb enough to walk in on the man bashing, particularly, the dishes one, gets what they deserve. If they are dumb enough to actually say something or try to defend themselves, they should count themselves lucky if they make it out alive.
    
4. Women who are too dumb to leave men alone when they are bitching deserve whatever punishment men deem fit.
    
5. DO NOT complain about current hubby to your adult child who does not like current hubby; because it is really hard to refrain from saying "Well, you married the asshole" ;-)
    
6. If alcohol is being consumed and your friend is bitching about the silliest thing ever, let it slide. We all have really dumb pet peeves.

Because lets face it, sometimes you have to bitch, but most of us are mature enough to know that the good always outweighs the bad (or else get out of the relationship) and that bitching tends to be a little exaggerated. Children however, do not understand the above.

I'll admit I've fallen for some of the new mom foibles. I let my baby overheat in his car-seat, twice; once due to overdressing him, and once because even though it was really hot I left the back windows rolled up so the wind wouldn't bug him. I've cut finger, instead of finger nail. I've been peed on, pooped on, called people in a panic over the silliest things. This one takes the cake.

One day I put socks on Wesley before taking him to the park. He fell asleep and was out for the night, so I didn't change him into PJs. I thought about taking his socks off, but I decided not to, I thought his feet might get cold. The only reason I even thought about taking them off is because I hate wearing socks.

So the next morning, I get him up, I take his clothes off, and where there was a red mark around where the top of his socks were. I looked at the back of his legs, and it was worse, much worse. The red deepened into blue/black in the middle. People assume when I tell them about the mark, that it's a rash of some sort. Its not, it's a bruise, and I have to tell you, in the really bad spot it looks like the skin is dead.(But that is probably new mom panic)


Yesterday a couple of chunks of skin fell off… it looked awful. I kept him all bandaged up. I am surprised people didn't stone me in the street, huge bandages encircling both of my baby's legs. I am sure people were thinking "What did she do to that baby".

Socks… just say NO!

I have a dog, and if you have a dog and live in the city you will eventually grow a group of "dog friends". You all go to the park at the same time "so your dogs can play together" but really it's because you want to chat.

Sure they aren't your best friends and maybe you never see them outside of the park; except randomly in your neighbourhood. Probably a lot of them aren't in the right age group or whatever for you to become friends outside the dog park. I love my dog friends though, and they seem to like me because when I had my son they chipped in and got me a gift card from Wal-Mart.(not a little one either. Thanks again!)

However one of the more recent additions to our doggy club is another couple having a baby. Which is great because my baby is 3 months old, so maybe they can play together. I know my views of childbirth and parenting are outside the norm, so I try not to rant. Try not to discuss it unless asked for my opinion.

They had their baby about a week ago, and it was a very traumatic experience ending in an emergency c-section. This was also followed by the baby having Strep-B. Now I don't know how the whole circumcision discussion got started, honest. I was off doing something and my husband called me into the conversation.

Prior to the birth they had decided not to circumcise; but once the baby was born grandpa (dad's dad) pulled him aside and asked when they were going to have the baby circumcised because all the men in his family who weren't circumcised had to have it done as an adult. I thought they were still making up their minds because they said you have to have it done in the first month. So I didn't push too much hoping that they might include me in the discussion some more before they made a decision. I mostly just explained that most of the reasons they circumcised adults 20 or even 10 years ago are not reasons to circumcise adults today.

That night I kept thinking about it. I came up with three arguments as to why it is better to have it done as an adult; Three that wouldn't come across as being a zealot.
1) The infant foreskin is fused to the head of the penis and has to be ripped apart first, which feels a lot like having your fingernail torn off. So it is probably less painful to be circumcised as an adult. (His dad had expressed how painful circumcision is)
2) The adult penis is larger so it is an easier surgery and the doctor is less likely to make a mistake (You do not want to hear the horror stories of what has gone wrong)
3) It's easier to keep the adult penis clean because it isn't sitting in a diaper.

Of course, I have other reasons; lots of them, I won't list them all here. You can find many wonderful sites about circumcision on the internet.

When I ran into them the next day, however, they said they had an appointment to take him in the next day. So I just asked some questions about whether they would be allowed in the room during the procedure (No, and daddy said it's probably because too many people faint or punch the doctor). When they said that he isn't allowed to eat an hour and a half before the procedure I asked if that is because they will be giving anaesthetic; and they didn't know. Wouldn't you want to know?

I feel bad because they just seem so torn about the decision; I really feel they will regret it. I hope I am wrong. As much as I feel that circumcision is wrong I think that most circumcised men do not resent the lack of foreskin, most of them do not think about it. (I know however that there are lots of men who do resent it and men who need therapy to accept that their sons have intact penises and they were "robbed of their foreskin. So you don't need to rant at me). However, I really think that these parents will regret their decision, and it is hard enough being a parent. You always worry that you have screwed something up. Do I hold the baby enough, not enough? Breast milk or formula? Will they remember the time I clipped off their fingertip instead of the nail, did I cause brain damage when I let him fall off the couch. But circumcision, if you regret your decision is just such an obvious thing, every time you change a diaper or give them a bath there it is.

I hope they will be ok.

(I hope their son will come through the procedure ok too.)