Entry: Circumcision Pessimism Saturday, July 01, 2006



I have a dog, and if you have a dog and live in the city you will eventually grow a group of "dog friends". You all go to the park at the same time "so your dogs can play together" but really it's because you want to chat.

Sure they aren't your best friends and maybe you never see them outside of the park; except randomly in your neighbourhood. Probably a lot of them aren't in the right age group or whatever for you to become friends outside the dog park. I love my dog friends though, and they seem to like me because when I had my son they chipped in and got me a gift card from Wal-Mart.(not a little one either. Thanks again!)

However one of the more recent additions to our doggy club is another couple having a baby. Which is great because my baby is 3 months old, so maybe they can play together. I know my views of childbirth and parenting are outside the norm, so I try not to rant. Try not to discuss it unless asked for my opinion.

They had their baby about a week ago, and it was a very traumatic experience ending in an emergency c-section. This was also followed by the baby having Strep-B. Now I don't know how the whole circumcision discussion got started, honest. I was off doing something and my husband called me into the conversation.

Prior to the birth they had decided not to circumcise; but once the baby was born grandpa (dad's dad) pulled him aside and asked when they were going to have the baby circumcised because all the men in his family who weren't circumcised had to have it done as an adult. I thought they were still making up their minds because they said you have to have it done in the first month. So I didn't push too much hoping that they might include me in the discussion some more before they made a decision. I mostly just explained that most of the reasons they circumcised adults 20 or even 10 years ago are not reasons to circumcise adults today.

That night I kept thinking about it. I came up with three arguments as to why it is better to have it done as an adult; Three that wouldn't come across as being a zealot.
1) The infant foreskin is fused to the head of the penis and has to be ripped apart first, which feels a lot like having your fingernail torn off. So it is probably less painful to be circumcised as an adult. (His dad had expressed how painful circumcision is)
2) The adult penis is larger so it is an easier surgery and the doctor is less likely to make a mistake (You do not want to hear the horror stories of what has gone wrong)
3) It's easier to keep the adult penis clean because it isn't sitting in a diaper.

Of course, I have other reasons; lots of them, I won't list them all here. You can find many wonderful sites about circumcision on the internet.

When I ran into them the next day, however, they said they had an appointment to take him in the next day. So I just asked some questions about whether they would be allowed in the room during the procedure (No, and daddy said it's probably because too many people faint or punch the doctor). When they said that he isn't allowed to eat an hour and a half before the procedure I asked if that is because they will be giving anaesthetic; and they didn't know. Wouldn't you want to know?

I feel bad because they just seem so torn about the decision; I really feel they will regret it. I hope I am wrong. As much as I feel that circumcision is wrong I think that most circumcised men do not resent the lack of foreskin, most of them do not think about it. (I know however that there are lots of men who do resent it and men who need therapy to accept that their sons have intact penises and they were "robbed of their foreskin. So you don't need to rant at me). However, I really think that these parents will regret their decision, and it is hard enough being a parent. You always worry that you have screwed something up. Do I hold the baby enough, not enough? Breast milk or formula? Will they remember the time I clipped off their fingertip instead of the nail, did I cause brain damage when I let him fall off the couch. But circumcision, if you regret your decision is just such an obvious thing, every time you change a diaper or give them a bath there it is.

I hope they will be ok.

(I hope their son will come through the procedure ok too.)

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